Ok, it's Wednesday. I love to participate in Works for Me Wednesday over at Rocks in My Dryer. The problem today is that I do not have any great ideas that will revolutionalize anyone's life. It takes all my energy to keep my kids fed, clothed, and safe lately!
Maybe I should think of some great ideas for making it through the first trimester of pregnacy when you are have three kids five and under, one who is being homeschooled, and a husband who works full time and is in seminary full time! When I come up with how this is happening in our house, I'll just right on over to Works for me Wednesday and let the world know...
Really, I know how we are doing so well right now- God's grace is new every morning, He is overwhelmingly faithful, and He gives strength for any providence he brings into our lives, morning sickness included.
And I must also mention my incredible husband, who every day asks several times how I'm doing, and when it's not so good he puts his own list aside and takes over for me. Love him!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
Quick question
Has it already been a long eight weeks of morning sickness when your two-year-old asks to sit on the couch and watch, "Baby Bach"? Just wondering.
"I am from..." writing contest
The post below was written for a writing contest hosted by Mary from Owlhaven. Check out the other entries and try it yourself! While I wrote my piece, I laughed and cried and remembered so much about my blessed childhood. Contest aside, this was a very worthwhile excercise that left me so thankful for all God has done for me.
It does our hearts much good to stop and remember and give thanks. We take the counsel, given to the Israelites and recorded in Deuteronomy 32:7, as our own, "Remember the days of old; consider the years of many generations; ask your father, and he will show you, your elders, and they will tell you."
Remembering is important because we must not forget the goodness and kindness of God toward us. In our remembering our faith is strengthened. We see what God has already done for us and in us and we anticipate what he will also do in the future.
As we remember and look back, we then look forward to the grace we know to be coming in the future. This serves to quell our fears of the unknown and to give us strength for obedience, no matter how difficult the task may seem.
It does our hearts much good to stop and remember and give thanks. We take the counsel, given to the Israelites and recorded in Deuteronomy 32:7, as our own, "Remember the days of old; consider the years of many generations; ask your father, and he will show you, your elders, and they will tell you."
Remembering is important because we must not forget the goodness and kindness of God toward us. In our remembering our faith is strengthened. We see what God has already done for us and in us and we anticipate what he will also do in the future.
As we remember and look back, we then look forward to the grace we know to be coming in the future. This serves to quell our fears of the unknown and to give us strength for obedience, no matter how difficult the task may seem.
I am from
I am from plaid school uniforms, from wheat germ in my cereal every morning, and woody-sided station wagons .
I am from muggy Florida evenings and my mom seeking relief at the beach where she would watch the sunset while all four of us kids made giant sandcastles, from swatting mosquitoes while watching fourth-of-July fireworks and being stuck in traffic for hours trying to get home afterwards.
I am from the yellow stucco house with too many add-ons, a long driveway perfect for learning to ride a bike, and a perfectly pink upstairs bedroom that my mom decorated special just for me.
I am from the two oak trees in the front yard that my mom planted and dreamed of watching grow taller as she grew old with my father, from the rows of green onions they planted in our suburban garden, perfect for dipping in salt while we waited for dinner.
I am from a broken-hearted summer when my father moved out of our house and in with another family, from a strong-as-steel mother who lost the love of her life but not her faith in God and showed us that He never leaves us, fails, or makes mistakes.
I am from summertime revivals and candlelight Christmas Eve services, from four Ruths and a Zula and three Josephines.
I am from absolute truthfulness even when it doesn't seem to matter and giving in instead of fighting when sometimes a fight would have been better.
I am from "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and "my daughters don't call boys".
From getting grounded for calling a boy behind my mother's back, from a mother who found out everything, and was gracious and strict at the same time.
I am from Methodists- then Baptists, from church three times a week, from listening to my mother play old hymns on the piano and listening to Charles Stanley on tv when someone was sick and we had to stay home.
I'm from an unknown ancestry due to a closed adoption, from never feeling adoption was negative but instead that it was the greatest blessing, and from never understanding what my friends meant when they asked me if I ever wondered about my 'real' parents.
I am from real stuffing in the turkey at Thanksgiving, and hidden liver in the hamburgers because my mom heard liver was good for us and she knew we could never eat it without a disguise, from Aunt Zula's chicken and dumplings and from my grandma's baked ziti. I am from Gran's homemade Mexican brownies and chicken divan and from-scratch lasagne.
From Aunt Mildred showing me how to make homemade paper dolls from the Sears catalogue after I complained that I was bored, from my grandma buying me a Trapper Keeper every year before school started and being admonished because I would write on all the paper in my Trapper Keeper before the first day of school.
I am from a new dress every Easter, from Hello Kitty and the original Cabbage Patch Kids and waiting and waiting for my first pair of real Keds. From roller skating parties, using a full can of Aqua Net hairspray every week while I was in middle school, and knowing every word of the first Paula Abdul album.
I am from formal family portraits and paintings lining the living room walls, my grandmother's sewing machine in the den, and never getting rid of anything that had once belonged to a close family member.
I am from blinding movie camera lights on Christmas morning, from watching the squinty-eyed children in the film on a reel machine on the living room wall while the sound of the film rhythmically click-clicked and my dad narrated the silent movies.
I am from kisses and "I love you" and more kisses every night before bed, from "sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite" and "Mom, will you come check me before you go to bed?", from fresh sheets that spoke of care and a mother who always gave the best to her kids and taught them to do the same for their kids.
I am from muggy Florida evenings and my mom seeking relief at the beach where she would watch the sunset while all four of us kids made giant sandcastles, from swatting mosquitoes while watching fourth-of-July fireworks and being stuck in traffic for hours trying to get home afterwards.
I am from the yellow stucco house with too many add-ons, a long driveway perfect for learning to ride a bike, and a perfectly pink upstairs bedroom that my mom decorated special just for me.
I am from the two oak trees in the front yard that my mom planted and dreamed of watching grow taller as she grew old with my father, from the rows of green onions they planted in our suburban garden, perfect for dipping in salt while we waited for dinner.
I am from a broken-hearted summer when my father moved out of our house and in with another family, from a strong-as-steel mother who lost the love of her life but not her faith in God and showed us that He never leaves us, fails, or makes mistakes.
I am from summertime revivals and candlelight Christmas Eve services, from four Ruths and a Zula and three Josephines.
I am from absolute truthfulness even when it doesn't seem to matter and giving in instead of fighting when sometimes a fight would have been better.
I am from "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and "my daughters don't call boys".
From getting grounded for calling a boy behind my mother's back, from a mother who found out everything, and was gracious and strict at the same time.
I am from Methodists- then Baptists, from church three times a week, from listening to my mother play old hymns on the piano and listening to Charles Stanley on tv when someone was sick and we had to stay home.
I'm from an unknown ancestry due to a closed adoption, from never feeling adoption was negative but instead that it was the greatest blessing, and from never understanding what my friends meant when they asked me if I ever wondered about my 'real' parents.
I am from real stuffing in the turkey at Thanksgiving, and hidden liver in the hamburgers because my mom heard liver was good for us and she knew we could never eat it without a disguise, from Aunt Zula's chicken and dumplings and from my grandma's baked ziti. I am from Gran's homemade Mexican brownies and chicken divan and from-scratch lasagne.
From Aunt Mildred showing me how to make homemade paper dolls from the Sears catalogue after I complained that I was bored, from my grandma buying me a Trapper Keeper every year before school started and being admonished because I would write on all the paper in my Trapper Keeper before the first day of school.
I am from a new dress every Easter, from Hello Kitty and the original Cabbage Patch Kids and waiting and waiting for my first pair of real Keds. From roller skating parties, using a full can of Aqua Net hairspray every week while I was in middle school, and knowing every word of the first Paula Abdul album.
I am from formal family portraits and paintings lining the living room walls, my grandmother's sewing machine in the den, and never getting rid of anything that had once belonged to a close family member.
I am from blinding movie camera lights on Christmas morning, from watching the squinty-eyed children in the film on a reel machine on the living room wall while the sound of the film rhythmically click-clicked and my dad narrated the silent movies.
I am from kisses and "I love you" and more kisses every night before bed, from "sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite" and "Mom, will you come check me before you go to bed?", from fresh sheets that spoke of care and a mother who always gave the best to her kids and taught them to do the same for their kids.
Simple wishes
Carter's school assignment this morning asked him to imagine what he would do if he had a bag full of gold. His "if I were rich..." dream?
"I'd buy a lot of gum."
Sure, I was hoping for "Bibles for the world" or "I'd feed all the hungry children", but I think I'll keep his simple wish for gum for now.
"I'd buy a lot of gum."
Sure, I was hoping for "Bibles for the world" or "I'd feed all the hungry children", but I think I'll keep his simple wish for gum for now.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Family altar, conclusion
Ok, last post on family worship. If your family is just beginning to think about implementing family worship into your days, I think the most important thing to remember is that it will take time for this to become habit. Relax. Start slowly. We are not able to practice family worship every day. We aim for most days.
Being free from rigidity on this has been a key factor in our family's ability to make family worship a regular part of our life. This has been difficult for me. I love a rule. But the problem with rule-loving is that when you can't perfectly obey your self-imposed rule, you tend to throw the principle out altogether.
I know I'll have some people disagree with me on this. In my first post, I mentioned that Elisabeth Elliott's father led their family in worship twice a day. Before I was married, I thought without a doubt my future family would adopt the same practice. Of course, I didn't factor in my husband's background, leadership style, and preferences. I also didn't factor in my own personality and our unique situation.
Fast forward several years, and here we are, far from ideal but striving to gather our family as often as possible to sing, read, and pray together. (Actually, maybe that is the ideal!)
Being free from rigidity on this has been a key factor in our family's ability to make family worship a regular part of our life. This has been difficult for me. I love a rule. But the problem with rule-loving is that when you can't perfectly obey your self-imposed rule, you tend to throw the principle out altogether.
I know I'll have some people disagree with me on this. In my first post, I mentioned that Elisabeth Elliott's father led their family in worship twice a day. Before I was married, I thought without a doubt my future family would adopt the same practice. Of course, I didn't factor in my husband's background, leadership style, and preferences. I also didn't factor in my own personality and our unique situation.
Fast forward several years, and here we are, far from ideal but striving to gather our family as often as possible to sing, read, and pray together. (Actually, maybe that is the ideal!)
Family altar, revisited
Before my unnanounced Christmas hiatus, we were talking about family worship. I wanted to give a few pointers that have really helped our family in our desire to make family worship a regular part of our life.
1. Keep it simple. Donald Whitney suggests three elements: Sing, read, and pray. We vary the order, but usually open up with a hymn (our church gives out hymnbooks for this purpose, but Christian bookstores usually sell them for under $10.00), then my husband reads a short Scripture passage.
Right now we are reading through John. The kids are finding this book fairly easy to follow. During Advent, we read through several texts in Isaiah. These were harder for the kids to 'get', but deep understanding of the text is not the only purpose of family worship, so we didn't see this as a problem. Just keep on plugging away. The words of Scripture will become familiar over time.
2. Keep it short. Fifteen minutes is adequate. We sing each verse of the hymn we have chosen (sometimes one we have sung the past Sunday at church, other times a hymn that is particularly meaningful to Scott or me at the time, and then there is always our kid's favorite, "Holy, Holy, Holy"). Then a very short Scripture reading, followed by a short prayer.
3. Keep the kids close. Right now, Scott sits with one child on his lap and I have two on either side of me. Our family is growing, so we will rearrange, but it is much easier to quietly direct the youngest child's attention to Daddy or the hymnbook if we are already physically touching.
I'll be concluding with one more post. I'm saving what I think is the most important thing for last, so don't forget to tune back in!
1. Keep it simple. Donald Whitney suggests three elements: Sing, read, and pray. We vary the order, but usually open up with a hymn (our church gives out hymnbooks for this purpose, but Christian bookstores usually sell them for under $10.00), then my husband reads a short Scripture passage.
Right now we are reading through John. The kids are finding this book fairly easy to follow. During Advent, we read through several texts in Isaiah. These were harder for the kids to 'get', but deep understanding of the text is not the only purpose of family worship, so we didn't see this as a problem. Just keep on plugging away. The words of Scripture will become familiar over time.
2. Keep it short. Fifteen minutes is adequate. We sing each verse of the hymn we have chosen (sometimes one we have sung the past Sunday at church, other times a hymn that is particularly meaningful to Scott or me at the time, and then there is always our kid's favorite, "Holy, Holy, Holy"). Then a very short Scripture reading, followed by a short prayer.
3. Keep the kids close. Right now, Scott sits with one child on his lap and I have two on either side of me. Our family is growing, so we will rearrange, but it is much easier to quietly direct the youngest child's attention to Daddy or the hymnbook if we are already physically touching.
I'll be concluding with one more post. I'm saving what I think is the most important thing for last, so don't forget to tune back in!
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Snowy day
Our first snow of the year fell last night. Scott got me up (way too) early to tell me the exciting news. Josh got to see a few minutes of snow before he said, "I want to go back to bed," and Carter could not be roused. We would never dare to wake Sophie up for any reason other than our house being on fire, so she had to wait until daybreak to see the fluffy white covering the ground.
After a hot breakfast of oatmeal with brown sugar, the kids and I headed outside to play for a while. I am a true born and bred Floridian, so I struggle with the cold. The seventy degree weather we had on Monday suited me just fine. However, the kids had such a good time, I almost forgot how cold I was. Here's a couple of photos:
My boys may be from Florida, but I didn't have to teach them how much fun it is to throw snowballs at each other. Carter requested that his hat be allowed to stay askew so he could hear. In lieu of long underwear, they kept their pajamas on underneath their play clothes. Gotta love that orange hunting cap, Josh!
Sophie wasn't too sure of the whole thing. She couldn't decide if she wanted her gloves on so her hands wouldn't freeze or off so she could feel the snow.
After a hot breakfast of oatmeal with brown sugar, the kids and I headed outside to play for a while. I am a true born and bred Floridian, so I struggle with the cold. The seventy degree weather we had on Monday suited me just fine. However, the kids had such a good time, I almost forgot how cold I was. Here's a couple of photos:
My boys may be from Florida, but I didn't have to teach them how much fun it is to throw snowballs at each other. Carter requested that his hat be allowed to stay askew so he could hear. In lieu of long underwear, they kept their pajamas on underneath their play clothes. Gotta love that orange hunting cap, Josh!
Sophie wasn't too sure of the whole thing. She couldn't decide if she wanted her gloves on so her hands wouldn't freeze or off so she could feel the snow.
The haitus is over
Ok, after many requests from my fans (I mean fan, which is my husband), I am officially coming off my unannounced blogging hiatus.
I took a break because we were a little busy at Christmas, we traveled to Florida after Christmas, and I've been feeling a little under the weather for a few weeks now.
Also, I've had nothing to say.
I still don't have a lot to say, but when I get desperate, I'll post pictures of my kids, which is what most people prefere anyway, I'm pretty sure.
Speaking of which, we had our first snow this morning, so photos are coming soon...
I took a break because we were a little busy at Christmas, we traveled to Florida after Christmas, and I've been feeling a little under the weather for a few weeks now.
Also, I've had nothing to say.
I still don't have a lot to say, but when I get desperate, I'll post pictures of my kids, which is what most people prefere anyway, I'm pretty sure.
Speaking of which, we had our first snow this morning, so photos are coming soon...
Friday, December 15, 2006
Christmas photo fun
Before I begin describing our recent Christmas photo fun, I have to quickly say the semester just ended and my husband took his last final on Wednesday! Of course, there will be, Lord willing, many more semesters to follow, but we are so thankful for God's goodness and faithfulness to us as a family.
and this:
After several Mommy/Sophie meetings, I got her all cleaned up and the Lord helped her to have a more cheerful heart. We ended up with some really sweet moments. Here is one I was able to capture with my camera:
Of course, at this point, poor Carter's mouth was cramping! Josh just goes with the flow- it's all good with Josh. One more, just for fun:
Every time I think about this experience, I laugh out loud. Of course, I do not laugh at my daughter's poor attitude. But I laugh at motherhood and all its challenges, at the work required for even the most seemingly simple tasks, and at the joy that comes from raising our children for the glory of God. Worthy work, indeed!
Now for more Ellison family fun:
We try and send out Christmas photo cards each December. Granted, I don't usually get them mailed until the week before Christmas, but I am really just thrilled to send them out at all. I am not a go get 'em type girl, as my friends and family can truthfully verify. Actually, when doing on of those personality profiles, I was described by some friends who know me quite well as the why stand when you can sit? personality. Very accurate description of me.
Anyway, I thought I would be very brave the other day during a Kindergarten break between math and reading lessons and try to take the Christmas photo of the kids. By myself. Those of you who know me probably know where this is going. Honestly, though, I thought this was a good idea. My kids love having their pictures taken. If they even see the camera, they will ask for me to take their picture.
I got all three littles' good clothes on, their hair combed, and even got their shoes on. I positioned them all in front of the tree. Carter here. Josh there. Sophie in front. So far, so good.
Here we go. As I say, "Smile everyone!", the fun stops cold and Sophie starts making faces like this:
and this:
The fun just kept up on coming! Soon, Sophie's pouty faces turned into outright bawling:
Here's a fun shot of Sophie after I had to take her dress off due to her excessive sobbing which led to gagging:
Every time I think about this experience, I laugh out loud. Of course, I do not laugh at my daughter's poor attitude. But I laugh at motherhood and all its challenges, at the work required for even the most seemingly simple tasks, and at the joy that comes from raising our children for the glory of God. Worthy work, indeed!
Monday, December 11, 2006
A Sunday afternoon well spent
After church yesterday we rode over to Duke University (about five minutes from our church) to walk around and enjoy some time together. We had never been to Duke so we were in for quite a treat. The campus was beautiful and the chapel was, well, astounding.
Here are some photos:
The sun is in our eyes!
The inside of the chapel, facing the back. There was no way to really capture the scale and grandeur of the architecture, stone carvings, stained glass, and woodwork (at least with my camera!). But I did get to capture these three wonderful creations:
Scott found a great little alcove for a photo of the kids. If you are on our Christmas card list, you might be seeing this one again!
We had a great time and I was amazed at the skill and craftsmanship displayed in such an impressive edifice. I have lots of thoughts on this and on several statements recorded by the visionary for this building project, but will have to save those for later. For now, Kindergarten is calling my name!
Monday, December 04, 2006
Family Altar, part 2
A few more thoughts on family worship:
Earlier, I spoke about there being no sense of duty in our motivation for doing family worship. I think that statement needs a little clarification! On our better days, we do family worship out of our sense of joy in doing so and out of our great need to gather our family together to meet with God.
However, we often experience difficult days when our hearts do not yearn for God or we have stuffed ourselves full of worldly pleasures and our desire for God has been dulled. Or maybe we are exhausted from the needs and demands of the day. What then?
These are not times to withdraw from the Lord, but rather when we should simply go about family worship in the same manner as we normally do. We can always come honestly to God, and express our lack of affection (He knows anyway!) and our need for Him to rekindle our love.
Expect that there will days when family worship will not happen. We can be providentially hindered by all sorts of things that occur during the course of the week. I have read about Elisabeth Elliott's upbringing, when her father led in family worship twice a day! That is very commendable, but may not be (I want to say probably will not be) doable for most families. Do not read of examples like this and feel like you do not measure up (like I often do!)- rather take the principle and ask God how you can apply it to your own life. (More on that in my next post.)
As with so many other areas of our lives, sometimes we can only do the best we can (and our best is usually greatly lacking) and rest in Christ, knowing that God's mercies are new every morning and only His faithfulness is great (our faithfulness will never be great, and is always the result of God's grace in our lives). And that is a reason to worship.
Earlier, I spoke about there being no sense of duty in our motivation for doing family worship. I think that statement needs a little clarification! On our better days, we do family worship out of our sense of joy in doing so and out of our great need to gather our family together to meet with God.
However, we often experience difficult days when our hearts do not yearn for God or we have stuffed ourselves full of worldly pleasures and our desire for God has been dulled. Or maybe we are exhausted from the needs and demands of the day. What then?
These are not times to withdraw from the Lord, but rather when we should simply go about family worship in the same manner as we normally do. We can always come honestly to God, and express our lack of affection (He knows anyway!) and our need for Him to rekindle our love.
Expect that there will days when family worship will not happen. We can be providentially hindered by all sorts of things that occur during the course of the week. I have read about Elisabeth Elliott's upbringing, when her father led in family worship twice a day! That is very commendable, but may not be (I want to say probably will not be) doable for most families. Do not read of examples like this and feel like you do not measure up (like I often do!)- rather take the principle and ask God how you can apply it to your own life. (More on that in my next post.)
As with so many other areas of our lives, sometimes we can only do the best we can (and our best is usually greatly lacking) and rest in Christ, knowing that God's mercies are new every morning and only His faithfulness is great (our faithfulness will never be great, and is always the result of God's grace in our lives). And that is a reason to worship.
Friday, December 01, 2006
The family altar
Our family has always desired to gather daily to worship, pray, and read the Scriptures together. Over the past week, by the grace of God, and thanks to my husband's leadership, we have all joined together before bedtime to worship as a family. These have been some of our sweetest times together as a family.
Unfortunately, I think both my husband and I were surprised at the joy family worship would bring. And it has brought joy. Or rather, God has given us joy as we have retreated for a few moments to focus on Him in song, prayer, and Bible reading.
In the past, we have had the tendency to think of family worship as adding to our list of duties to be performed at the end of the day. You know- clear table, do dishes, brush teeth, bath time, jammies... do family worship. But we have discovered that we do family worship because of the delight and joy we have from fellowship in God's word after the bombardment of the day and the constant pull of sin and our own desires to gain utmost importance in our hearts.
There is no duty there, but a deep need is met in our hearts! We need it, we desire it, we find pleasure in it.
Now, I anticipate that there will come a day (probably very soon), when sin, busyness, or laziness will win for first place in our hearts. I anticipate this because of the truth of Romans 7 and my own experience in the spiritual disciplines. And I also anticipate that God's grace will be present then just as it is now to restore our focus and to remind us of the pleasure to be found at the family altar.
Unfortunately, I think both my husband and I were surprised at the joy family worship would bring. And it has brought joy. Or rather, God has given us joy as we have retreated for a few moments to focus on Him in song, prayer, and Bible reading.
In the past, we have had the tendency to think of family worship as adding to our list of duties to be performed at the end of the day. You know- clear table, do dishes, brush teeth, bath time, jammies... do family worship. But we have discovered that we do family worship because of the delight and joy we have from fellowship in God's word after the bombardment of the day and the constant pull of sin and our own desires to gain utmost importance in our hearts.
There is no duty there, but a deep need is met in our hearts! We need it, we desire it, we find pleasure in it.
Now, I anticipate that there will come a day (probably very soon), when sin, busyness, or laziness will win for first place in our hearts. I anticipate this because of the truth of Romans 7 and my own experience in the spiritual disciplines. And I also anticipate that God's grace will be present then just as it is now to restore our focus and to remind us of the pleasure to be found at the family altar.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Gingerbread Fun
While I cooked Thanksgiving turkey, the kids and Scott put together a gingerbread house. Here are a few photos:
The kids and Scott all had fun, but I think the boys' favorite activity has been picking off the gumdrops and candies every day since. Josh will bring me to the gingerbread house and say, "This one is loose..." In other words, "I need to eat that one!" This year's gingerbread house will not be a family heirloom, so we decided to let the children have fun slowly eating each piece of decoration. There are still plenty of candies left, so the gingerbread house fun should last for a couple more weeks.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
With the time change, my kids are now up at around 6:00. This does not make for a happy family, as Mommy needs a little time with the Lord and with her coffee before her little ones get up. The first couple of days after the time change were difficult for me. The boys were up and cheerful and dressed and it was only 6:15 and I was barely out of bed or still in bed.
Then we did this: We put a clock in the boys' room and told them to stay in bed or play quietly until the clock said 7:00. The boys (ages 3 and 5) have loved the responsibility, and Mommy has cherished the needed quiet time to prepare for the day. This has really worked for me!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Bed time here at our house, part 3
My children are like stair steps- all coming in nice, even 19 month intervals. When Carter was three and Josh was the prescribed 19 months, God blessed us with a sweet, spirited girl. Sophie has been a true blessing to our home. She has certainly shaken things up! I usually hear something like, "She's spunky, isn't she?" or "She has a lot of personality" within fifteen minutes of meeting someone new.
But we are talking about bed time, arent' we? I have described our experience with bed time with our first two children. Both boys followed a schedule, and were happy sleepers. When Sophie was a newborn, I became much more flexible with her schedule. I had to be! Carter and Josh were busy active little guys, and I no longer had the freedom to focus solely on my newborn.
I think both Sophie and I benefited from my new-found freedom. I still followed the pattern of feeding right after she woke up from her nap, and I would try to keep feedings at around every two to three hours, but after that one 'rule' I was much more flexible. If Sophie fell asleep at the 'wrong' time, this was a blessing and not a problem!
(With Carter and Josh, my mother had found it astonishing that I would try to keep my babies awake until the prescribed nap time. Her philosophy was that if a baby wants to sleep, let him sleep. After Sophie, I saw and I felt the wisdom in my mother's words.)
The amazing thing to me was that even though I was no longer so rigid about the schedule, Sophie slept through the night at around the same time both boys did. I did not need to be so afraid! I think all those scary, worse-case scenarios (i.e. if you do not follow a rigid schedule or if you rock your baby before bed or if you let your baby go to sleep fifteen minutes after a feeding- your child will not sleep through the night until he is a teenager...) are based on fear.
Now I have come to believe that if you are happy with your baby's routine, or lack thereof, and your baby is happy and growing, then there is no need to change what you are doing. Different families have different needs, backgrounds, and goals. Some of us count the days until Baby sleeps all night, others are perfectly fine sleeping with or next to their babies for many months in order to feed or cuddle Baby at a moment's notice.
If your baby is cranky, you are miserable from lack of sleep, or your husband is asking, "When are we getting our bed back?", then you might want to seek counsel from another mother or email me and I'll help however I can.
Sophie will be two in December. At bedtime, I read her a book, turn out her lights, rock her, sing the Gospel Song, pray, and then sing God is so Good. I usually finish the last song while I am standing right next to her bed. In the bed she goes, with her blanket she has had since birth, along with her soft baby that she has also had since she was an infant.
I love bedtime with Sophie! I get special time alone with her, and I relax and rock while my husband wrangles our rowdy boys up for bed. While I used to rush as fast as possible through putting my babies to bed, I now love to linger and often will sing our special songs several times before I put her in bed.
With our boys, who are five and three, we do jammies/teeth/bathroom and then (I've joined them by now) often read a book. Then it's time for prayers, kisses and hugs, and in the bed. Before my husband leaves the room, he tells them a story which always starts out, "Once upon a time, there were two boys named Carter and Josh..." and proceeds to recount their day.
Bedtime is a source of great joy, and of great relief. Scott will often say, "You made it" and I'll breathe a sigh of contented relief. Then it's almost bedtime for Mama before my little stair steps are up and at it again.
But we are talking about bed time, arent' we? I have described our experience with bed time with our first two children. Both boys followed a schedule, and were happy sleepers. When Sophie was a newborn, I became much more flexible with her schedule. I had to be! Carter and Josh were busy active little guys, and I no longer had the freedom to focus solely on my newborn.
I think both Sophie and I benefited from my new-found freedom. I still followed the pattern of feeding right after she woke up from her nap, and I would try to keep feedings at around every two to three hours, but after that one 'rule' I was much more flexible. If Sophie fell asleep at the 'wrong' time, this was a blessing and not a problem!
(With Carter and Josh, my mother had found it astonishing that I would try to keep my babies awake until the prescribed nap time. Her philosophy was that if a baby wants to sleep, let him sleep. After Sophie, I saw and I felt the wisdom in my mother's words.)
The amazing thing to me was that even though I was no longer so rigid about the schedule, Sophie slept through the night at around the same time both boys did. I did not need to be so afraid! I think all those scary, worse-case scenarios (i.e. if you do not follow a rigid schedule or if you rock your baby before bed or if you let your baby go to sleep fifteen minutes after a feeding- your child will not sleep through the night until he is a teenager...) are based on fear.
Now I have come to believe that if you are happy with your baby's routine, or lack thereof, and your baby is happy and growing, then there is no need to change what you are doing. Different families have different needs, backgrounds, and goals. Some of us count the days until Baby sleeps all night, others are perfectly fine sleeping with or next to their babies for many months in order to feed or cuddle Baby at a moment's notice.
If your baby is cranky, you are miserable from lack of sleep, or your husband is asking, "When are we getting our bed back?", then you might want to seek counsel from another mother or email me and I'll help however I can.
Sophie will be two in December. At bedtime, I read her a book, turn out her lights, rock her, sing the Gospel Song, pray, and then sing God is so Good. I usually finish the last song while I am standing right next to her bed. In the bed she goes, with her blanket she has had since birth, along with her soft baby that she has also had since she was an infant.
I love bedtime with Sophie! I get special time alone with her, and I relax and rock while my husband wrangles our rowdy boys up for bed. While I used to rush as fast as possible through putting my babies to bed, I now love to linger and often will sing our special songs several times before I put her in bed.
With our boys, who are five and three, we do jammies/teeth/bathroom and then (I've joined them by now) often read a book. Then it's time for prayers, kisses and hugs, and in the bed. Before my husband leaves the room, he tells them a story which always starts out, "Once upon a time, there were two boys named Carter and Josh..." and proceeds to recount their day.
Bedtime is a source of great joy, and of great relief. Scott will often say, "You made it" and I'll breathe a sigh of contented relief. Then it's almost bedtime for Mama before my little stair steps are up and at it again.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Laundry help
There is one single thing that has helped me the most in the area of laundry control and expense. As a family of five, we produce a lot of laundry. Every day we wear five shirts, five pairs of pants or skirts, five pairs of socks, and five sets of underthings. This adds up fast, both finacially as well as in terms of time.
Washing clothes is one of the main sources of non-negotiable expense in our house. You can't eliminate it from the budget, but you can seriously cut down on the actual amount of expense.
So here's the tip: Make sure clothing is truly dirty before you wash it. Wear dresses, dress pants, work pants and shirts, and even play clothes twice or more before throwing them into the dirty clothes hamper. Lest you think I am crazy (or am a 'dirty' person) for saying this, I am not the only advocate of this method. Its proponents include Martha Stewart, Elisabeth Elliot, and most importantly to me, my mother.
When we lived with my mother, she would often help me catch up on the laundry pile. One life-changing day, she said, "Tami, your family has more laundry than any family I've ever seen. You wash more clothes than I've ever seen. Your children can wear their clothes- even play clothes- more than once!" My mother faithfully raised four children, so her words hold a lot of weight for me. This stopped me in my tracks. That night, I told the boys to lay their clothes that they had worn that day out for the next morning, instead of putting them in the hamper.
I've never gone back to my old habits.
This saves money in at least three ways:
-Your clothes will last much longer- too frequent washings causes fading, wearing, and misshapenness (not sure that's a word, but if it is, it means loss of shape). This is Martha Stewart's main point.
-You will save money in detergent, fabric softener, and dryer sheets.
-You will save electricity. The washer and dryer are our main energy outputs after the air conditioner/heater.
I don't have to convince any mother of the mental help cutting even one load will produce.
By the way, I hope it goes without saying that there are days that my kids get too dirty to re-wear their clothes. When we go out, I try to make sure they look nice and fresh. And Sophie, at twenty months, usually makes enough of a mess at meal time to earn a clean shirt. If the clothes get stained, wash them right away! If they smell, in the wash they go. And OF COURSE, this rule does not apply to underclothes!
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Bedtime here at our house, part 2 (a few more words about babies and bedtime)
Yesterday I posted a bit about our early experience with bed time. We were strictly 'Babywise' parents with Carter, our oldest. Three hour schedules, never ever rocking at bed time- this system has both pros and cons, but I have learned with experience that such rigidity is not necessary to achieve the goal of even very young children happily going to bed.
When Josh was born 19 months after Carter, I had some pretty significant problems while we were still in the hospital. We ended up staying for almost a week while I recovered and got my strength back. He was also very jaundiced and had to stay in the nursery unless I was feeding him.
This made for a difficult time for me as a mommy with a new baby whom I loved so much. Carter had stayed in my room after he was born, and I found his 'rooming in' with me to be helpful in establishing good breastfeeding as well as providing a great opportunity for bonding. Because of my own difficulties and Joshua having to stay in the nursery, when we left the hospital I felt like I was still in a daze. But I was happy to be recovering and taking a beautiful baby boy home to see his big brother.
After we got home, it took me several more weeks to fully recover and regain my strength. God was so gracious to me! Josh slept so well right from the beginning.
I kept him on the same three-hour feeding schedule, nursing him right when he woke from his naps. At night, he would wake up just once and go right back to sleep after I had nursed him. I don't remember him 'crying it out' at all. This could be because he spent his first week on the schedule of the hospital nursery. (He was fed on a fairly strict schedule there, and then would go right back on the bili-lights.)
I know for sure that God was with us! I had a newborn and a 19-month-old and was very weak, but I don't remember that time as particularly trying (maybe I have mommy-amnesia, but I really remember this as a sweet time). We also moved four states south (from Kentucky to Florida) when Josh was six weeks old, and both boys made the transition smoothly.
Josh was sleeping so well at six weeks that when we moved I put him in the same room as Carter. Carter never skipped a beat, and when I would go get them in the morning, I would often find Carter standing in his crib smiling over into Josh's crib. What sweet memories!
Tomorrow: A girl is born: here comes Sophie (and more about bed time- I think I digressed a bit in this post!)
When Josh was born 19 months after Carter, I had some pretty significant problems while we were still in the hospital. We ended up staying for almost a week while I recovered and got my strength back. He was also very jaundiced and had to stay in the nursery unless I was feeding him.
This made for a difficult time for me as a mommy with a new baby whom I loved so much. Carter had stayed in my room after he was born, and I found his 'rooming in' with me to be helpful in establishing good breastfeeding as well as providing a great opportunity for bonding. Because of my own difficulties and Joshua having to stay in the nursery, when we left the hospital I felt like I was still in a daze. But I was happy to be recovering and taking a beautiful baby boy home to see his big brother.
After we got home, it took me several more weeks to fully recover and regain my strength. God was so gracious to me! Josh slept so well right from the beginning.
I kept him on the same three-hour feeding schedule, nursing him right when he woke from his naps. At night, he would wake up just once and go right back to sleep after I had nursed him. I don't remember him 'crying it out' at all. This could be because he spent his first week on the schedule of the hospital nursery. (He was fed on a fairly strict schedule there, and then would go right back on the bili-lights.)
I know for sure that God was with us! I had a newborn and a 19-month-old and was very weak, but I don't remember that time as particularly trying (maybe I have mommy-amnesia, but I really remember this as a sweet time). We also moved four states south (from Kentucky to Florida) when Josh was six weeks old, and both boys made the transition smoothly.
Josh was sleeping so well at six weeks that when we moved I put him in the same room as Carter. Carter never skipped a beat, and when I would go get them in the morning, I would often find Carter standing in his crib smiling over into Josh's crib. What sweet memories!
Tomorrow: A girl is born: here comes Sophie (and more about bed time- I think I digressed a bit in this post!)
For mother's of boys, only
If you don't have children yet, or have only girls, you may not want to read this post. Really.
If however, you have one or more boys, share a knowing laugh with me as I recount the following conversation I had with my three year old today:
J: Mom, what's my bottom do?"
Me: "It goes poop" (I told you not to read this if you don't have boys!)
J: "What's poop do?"
Me: "It goes in the toilet."
J: "What's the toilet do?"
Me: "It flushes."
J: "Then what's it do?"
Me: "It goes down to the sewer." (I'm no toilet expert!)
J: "What's the sewer do?"
At this point I was at a loss of knowledge about the waterworks system and what exactly the sewer doos, so I just moved my hands in a back and forth/swishing motion and said, "It doos this..." This seemed to satisfy him and off to nap he went.
If however, you have one or more boys, share a knowing laugh with me as I recount the following conversation I had with my three year old today:
J: Mom, what's my bottom do?"
Me: "It goes poop" (I told you not to read this if you don't have boys!)
J: "What's poop do?"
Me: "It goes in the toilet."
J: "What's the toilet do?"
Me: "It flushes."
J: "Then what's it do?"
Me: "It goes down to the sewer." (I'm no toilet expert!)
J: "What's the sewer do?"
At this point I was at a loss of knowledge about the waterworks system and what exactly the sewer doos, so I just moved my hands in a back and forth/swishing motion and said, "It doos this..." This seemed to satisfy him and off to nap he went.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
A little muffin help
Next time you make muffins, try using an ice cream scoop to fill the cups. To make it extra easy, spray the scoop with non-stick spray (like Pam). Works for me!
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