Today is Scott's day off, so we are going to spend the day resting, playing and finishing our shopping for our Thanksgiving feast. I've got Christmas music playing and all four kids are here with me in the playroom, singing along and playing. It's nice. And rare.
Over the past couple of months, we've experienced a few traumas that have left me a bit speechless... hence the long absence from the blog. My words have been directed up to the Lord who sees and knows, my sweet husband, and a few close friends.
I don't have a sense of quickly coming out of this period of difficulty, but I do have a clear sense of being carried by arms stronger than my own. The fact that God has sovereignly, perfectly planned all my days, both good and bad, for His glory and for my joy, gives me peace and even a sense of anticipation for may lie ahead.
This is not to say that I don't wish I could snap my fingers and make everything in my world ok. I do. But at the same time, I am grateful that Someone wiser than me planned all this. And He loves me. This is good news.
I told Scott last night this is such a strange mixture of feelings. Deep pain and deep peace, and even joy. Wanting it all to go away with all my heart and yet knowing it won't go away and that it will be okay. I'm going to guess that this is a little of what Paul was saying when he said he had learned to be content in all circumstances. I'm not there yet, but I am starting to see glimmers of that seemingly impossible possibility.
I am married to Scott, mother of four, and follower of Jesus Christ. I am forever grateful that God was completely satisfied in the life and death of Jesus, and that He applies Christ's righteousness to me, even though I cannot fathom how or
why he would do so for me, his former enemy. The grace and mercy of this great God leave me joyful and bewildered and so thankful.