So it has been a long time since I wrote on the blog.  Some difficult experiences over the past year left me winded, sucking for air, and without extra words.  But now, through the grace of the Savior, the gasping is giving way to slow, even breaths again, and the color is returning to my cheeks.

This is a good place to be, but I'm starting to look back at the dark time as good, too.  While we were going through the experience, I read The God I Love by Joni Erickson Tada.  She relates her own life, full of suffering, but full of joy that has come as a direct result of the faithfulness of God through that suffering.  One line stands out as she relates her faith in the God who not only walked her through her suffering, but orchestrated it for her joy.  She says that God does what he hates (allows our suffering) to accomplish what He loves (his glory and our joy).  Strong words.  

But I clung to those words as I walked through the valley, knowing that God wasn't wringing His hands in despair (as I was!).  I was walking a bit of the Calvary road, and even though God did not delight in my suffering, He does delight in His children and in giving them fulness of joy, and in leading them to deeper fellowship with Christ as they walk the road Christ walked.

So in His kind providence, God has taken me out of that place of suffering, but I am only at the beginning of learning from that experience.  It is morning, and joy has come, but the weeping still lingers, at times the breathing still comes in ragged puffs.  But I anticipate the Breath of Life continuing His resuscitating efforts in the future as I look back on His faithfulness to me in my suffering, and as I look back to His faithfulness to all His people throughout all generations.  How great is our God.

Happy Thanksgiving!

To our family- we love and miss you very much!

My Josh

Happy Baby

Scott with the boys in Jamestown

Ferry ride from Hattaras Island to Ocracoke

Mom and the kids at the Ocracoke Lighthouse

The boys with some lego creations

Today is Scott's day off, so we are going to spend the day resting, playing and finishing our shopping for our Thanksgiving feast.  I've got Christmas music playing and all four kids are here with me in the playroom, singing along and playing.  It's nice.  And rare.

Over the past couple of months, we've experienced a few traumas that have left me a bit speechless... hence the long absence from the blog.  My words have been directed up to the Lord who sees and knows, my sweet husband, and a few close friends.  

I don't have a sense of quickly coming out of this period of difficulty, but I do have a clear sense of being carried by arms stronger than my own.  The fact that God has sovereignly, perfectly planned all my days, both good and bad, for His glory and for my joy, gives me peace and even a sense of anticipation for may lie ahead.

This is not to say that I don't wish I could snap my fingers and make everything in my world ok.  I do.  But at the same time, I am grateful that Someone wiser than me planned all this.  And He loves me.  This is good news.

I told Scott last night this is such a strange mixture of feelings.  Deep pain and deep peace, and even joy.  Wanting it all to go away with all my heart and yet knowing it won't go away and that it will be okay.  I'm going to guess that this is a little of what Paul was saying when he said he had learned to be content in all circumstances.  I'm not there yet, but I am starting to see glimmers of that seemingly impossible possibility.  

Trip to Raleigh

We recently made a trip to Raleigh.  Scott was attending class in Wake Forest, so the rest of us rode with him and stayed with my brother Tommy and his wife Melannie.  Here's a few photos:

Check out Tommy and Jared.  Jared and Caroline are the same age.  We visited Pullen Park and rode the train.  

We also went to the North Caroline Museum of Natural Sciences (or something like that).  This is one of our kid's favorites.  Here is me with our kids and Jared.  I got more than one comment about the size of our family.  Check out Josh.  He just can't handle taking a normal picture.  

Uncle Scott shows Jared the fishies in the tank.

We had a great time with Tommy and Melannie!  I am thankful for where we are, but trips like this make me sad to live so far away from family, especially since Tommy and Melannie are not only family, but our good friends.

Hi everyone

I sure do wish I could post more.  Life is just very busy and writing takes a lot of mental energy- something I've needed in 'real life' a whole lot more lately.  My little family, my loving husband, my ever-in-need of attention home- all of these good gifts are where my time and energy are being spent.

Outside it is turning cooler.  This time of year is lovely, but it does hearken at even cooler days to come, which I would love to speed right through into Spring.  My kids are outside for hours every afternoon, and I almost hate to call them in for quiet time or reading time.  Some days I don't, and just let them revel in being little kids on a crisp fall day.  Right now they (my boys) are playing Indiana Jones, complete with whips and ropes and hats and brown clothes.  My girls are taking a nap in their room recharging for the afternoon and the evening when Dad will be home and we can enjoy our evening meal together.

This has been a precious time in my spiritual life... as days pass, trials come, seasons change, the Lord has been gracious to draw me close, teach me to trust Him, shown me his love and mercy once again.  How great is our God.

We're back...

from vacation, lots of field trips, two trips to see family (in NC)... longer post coming later today, Lord willing!

Thanks everyone for all your help with the homeschooling questions I've had.  And I have good news to report:  So far, school has gone remarkably well and we have had a lot of fun. Our bathrooms are free from mold and I even think our house is cleaner that before school started.

I was so scared about this year and was really wondering how it would be to have two children in school at one time, but it has been better and easier (in some ways) than having only one child in 'school'.  Our family has made the adjustment well.  Josh is easy to teach (a big concern for me, since Josh is not a big communicator) and has turned out to be quite the clown.  We have laughed a lot these past two weeks and are getting into a good groove.

So I'm a big idiot for worrying. After all, my loving Lord tells me to, "be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication make your requests known to God..."  And once again He has faithfully answered my prayers and proved my worry fruitless.  

I am going to write some practical ways God has shown his faithfulness to our family and share how our days are going.  I also want to share how some of you order your days.  Thank you to those who answered this plea and this one.  Your advice and counsel has been a real means of grace to me.  

I'll be linking to a few other moms over the next couple of weeks.  First is my friend Zinnada, who has four children ages 4, 3, 2, and 8 months.  Check out her schedule and be amazed- but also notice her idea for messy Mondays which I think is brilliant when your kids are all small.  She is one of the most disciplined, faithful mothers I personally know.  Zinnada shares her struggles and joys with transparency and grace.  Don't forget to leave her a comment!  

Come back soon for more encouragement from other moms.  I'll be joining in with how God is gracing our family with fresh strength and help as we carry out our days here at our house.