Tuesday, August 18, 2009

So it has been a long time since I wrote on the blog.  Some difficult experiences over the past year left me winded, sucking for air, and without extra words.  But now, through the grace of the Savior, the gasping is giving way to slow, even breaths again, and the color is returning to my cheeks.

This is a good place to be, but I'm starting to look back at the dark time as good, too.  While we were going through the experience, I read The God I Love by Joni Erickson Tada.  She relates her own life, full of suffering, but full of joy that has come as a direct result of the faithfulness of God through that suffering.  One line stands out as she relates her faith in the God who not only walked her through her suffering, but orchestrated it for her joy.  She says that God does what he hates (allows our suffering) to accomplish what He loves (his glory and our joy).  Strong words.  

But I clung to those words as I walked through the valley, knowing that God wasn't wringing His hands in despair (as I was!).  I was walking a bit of the Calvary road, and even though God did not delight in my suffering, He does delight in His children and in giving them fulness of joy, and in leading them to deeper fellowship with Christ as they walk the road Christ walked.

So in His kind providence, God has taken me out of that place of suffering, but I am only at the beginning of learning from that experience.  It is morning, and joy has come, but the weeping still lingers, at times the breathing still comes in ragged puffs.  But I anticipate the Breath of Life continuing His resuscitating efforts in the future as I look back on His faithfulness to me in my suffering, and as I look back to His faithfulness to all His people throughout all generations.  How great is our God.


Z' Hodges said...

Amen, Sis! Good to see you writing again. I'm so glad for what the Lord has done and is continueing doing in the Ellison family.

Love ya!


Amanda said...

So glad that you are writing again. You are such a blessing. I love reading your blog!

Love Ya,

Renata said...

Glad to hear from you again. I have been meaning to check up on you and that very theme from Joni has been on my mind too. I've been pretty slack with my reader so only now I saw your post. Send our love to your family and let's catch up soon.

Shana said...

I was so glad to see your new post when I checked your blog today! So true. The suffering comes for His glory, and so does the morning as your so poetically worded it. You are such an encouragement, I am so glad that you feel able to blog again. You are a blessing!

love, shana

Kearsie said...

Tami, I'm so sorry that things have been tough. I think we pastor's wives should write some of our painful experiences, put them in a book together and pass them out to other new pastor's wives out there, as a small tool of encouragement reflecting that although life can be very tough, God does not leave us to suffer alone, and that it is a priviledge to suffer for Christ, and that sufferring is not permanent.

Also, that may very well be the longest sentence ever.