Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Still waiting

Well, I am almost 41 weeks pregnant, much to my own surprise. I know babies come in the Lord's time, but I had not given even the slightest thought that our little girl would arrive after her due date. Now here we are almost one week after the day we looked forward to for so long.

When the 31st came and went, I gave into depression and pitying myself. I was of no use or service to my family on Friday night and Saturday morning, much to my shame. The Lord rescued me out of that sin through prayer, scripture, and a simple word from my old friend Elisabeth Elliot, "Do the next thing." (here, as well).

I was stuck on hold, waiting for an event I have no control over. I had stopped cooking dinner every night (what dollar menu can we raid tonight??), and was just getting by every day with other chores. The neat thing is that after I spent time in prayer on Saturday morning (thanks to my husband who took the boys off for donuts so I could spend some time time with the Lord in quiet), Scott came home and gave me some encouragement in the same way. He admonished me to keep going, staying occupied and busy.

Sitting on the couch staring out the glass doors was not displaying trust and hope in God, and was instead passing on my restless mood onto my family. By the time I had given my despair to the Lord, repenting of my lack of belief and trust in God's plan for this baby, I was ready to do the next thing, which for me was grocery shopping, meal planning for this week, and then relaxing in the kitchen while I baked some treats for my family.

Then, on Sunday at church, our pastor continued his way through Colossians, preaching from chapter 1. He reminded us that Christ holds all things together. All things. Every atom and molecule in the universe and beyond is held together by our incomparable Christ. What a life-changing truth! Nothing is out of Christ's hands. Including babies, including how this baby will arrive (I want to avoid an induction but as the days pass, pitocin is getting closer and closer), and of course when she will arrive.

I'm hoping and praying that my next post will be a birth announcement. But if not, I'm praying for more of God, more satisfaction in Christ, and a deeper understanding of His loving control of my life and of all things.

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