Lights out?

The differences between men and women, or at least between my husband and I become more and more clear the longer we are married. As eight years have passed, and children have been added to our family, the 'real' Scott and Tami have come out. That subject could fill dozens of blog posts, but that's not what I'm really writing about tonight.

A realization came to both me and Scott this week. We have vastly different styles of managing the various happenings that occur in the middle of the night at our house. It is not unusual for both of us to be up at different times during the night- I handle newborn needs, and he generally takes care of the three older kids when they have a bad dream, need to visit the bathroom, or fail to visit the bathroom (this usually takes a team of two parents, though).

When I get up with Caroline, I silently make my way out our room, across the hall into her room. Then I feed her, change her diaper, burp her, put her back to bed, get a drink of water, and head back to bed. I do this all in the dark, not wanting anyone else in the house to wake up (especially not one of the other children). The next morning, Scott does not usually remember me getting up.

On the other hand, when Scott gets up with one of the kids, our house comes to life. First our bathroom light goes on- wouldn't want to trip on the way to our bedroom door. Then comes the hall light. (Right outside our bedroom door.) Next is the hall bathroom light (about two feet down the hallway from our room).

By now I am wide awake, wondering if Jesus has come back (and why do I feel so tired if the rapture has happened and I'm on my way to heaven and I guess the dispensationalists were right after all). When I come to my senses and realize that no, it isn't the rapture, it's only Scott taking Carter back to bed after a bad dream, I first fight the urge to yell, "Turn the lights out, what is your problem?!" and then I am really overcome with thankfulness that Scott has taken care of a child in the middle of the night without meaning to wake me up. Thanks, honey!

Even though I do wake up with the light pouring onto my pillow, Scott always pops right out of bed at the first sound of an older child, he seldom asks me for help in getting them settled back down, and the next morning he never complains about any of it, even though he gets up far earlier than I do and keeps the kids quiet while I feed the baby and fight for a few more minutes of sleep.

And that is why I love him.

Surviving

One day I'll write a post that doesn't revolve around life with a newborn, but for now my life is consumed with day to day mothering and just keeping up. Scott calls this 'survival'. I'm thankful for a husband with this kind of attitude.

Yesterday, I slept until 8:30 (Scott would bring Caroline to me to eat, and then I'd go back to sleep...). When I finally got up, I commented on how late I slept and that I didn't mean to let so much time pass with me still in the bed. He immediately told me, "You've got to give that up... right now, it's survival."

Today, when I commented that I shouldn't be as tired as I am, he again gave grace when he reminded me that I work third shift right now, and when you work third shift, you are always tired, no matter how late you sleep. (Sounds like being a seminary student as well.)

Of course, we don't want to live our entire lives just surviving. But when you find yourself in a particularly busy or difficult time, you might have to simply survive, just doing the best you can each day and relying more and more on God's grace to get you through. I have a husband who is constantly reminding me of that, and I couldn't be more thankful for living with that kind of grace.

Prayer time at our house

Sophie has now joined us for family prayer time every night. She is temporarily sleeping in the same room as the boys while Caroline is still getting up through the night. The boys love having her in with them, and she seems pretty keen on the idea as well. We have been enjoying having her join us for prayers. Here is what tonight's prayer time sounded like:

Sophie: "God is good, God is good, thank you for baby Caroline, who we got at the hospital. Amen."

Josh: "Dear God, help us to really do something. And help Uncle Ben to work hard. And help us Lord to do something, help Mama and Dad and me and Carter and Sophie and Caroline to do something. Amen."

Carter: "Dear Lord, please help the children of Uganda. Help our family to all get together and be really happy. Grandma Carter and Grandpa Carter and Uncle Ben and Aunt Erica and Cody and Uncle Richard and Aunt Amanda and Zachary and Granny and Papa and Grandma and Uncle Tommy and my whole family. Help them all to come to our house and get together.

Help my dad to find us a house. And help us to give the children in Uganda toys instead of weapons. And thank you Lord, and Amen."

Then Daddy prays and we all finish with the Lord's prayer. I love this time of day. Gathering around together as a family to beseach the Lord is such a gift. I am grateful for a husband who leads us to God. It also gives us the chance to see what is on the kid's hearts and minds. Sometimes I am brought to laughter, and sometimes I am brought to tears. But I am always blessed.

Mama's little helper

Sophie was so proud of herself to help me wash dishes earlier this week. I had so much fun watching her! Of course, it got a little wet in the kitchen, and we had to change her dress afterwards, but it was totally worth the fun and experience.

Dishwashing is not one of my greatest strengths (I always try to keep the sink free from pileups, but exactly how clean the dishes are might be questioned- Scott has pulled dishes with um, leftovers, on them out of the cupboard more than once, which is fine unless we are serving company! Let's just say I love my dishwasher!) , so maybe Sophie will take over for me over the next few years...

Day one, down

OK, I've made it through my first day and a half completely alone with all my kids! Scott ended up being home most of Monday and Tuesday, so Wednesday was my first trial run and it went great! I told Scott that Wednesday was the day I've been wondering about for a long time: four kids, one being a newborn who has to be fed at least every three hours, after a night of getting up multiple times.

We managed to do a little baking together, as well as some reading out loud, Bible story/memory work, and basic chores. This morning we actually did school and visited a friend.

Of course, this is what my kids would prefer to do all day:

My older kids are baby-magnets! They can't seem to get enough of Baby Caroline.

Too good to be true

I am sitting on the couch enjoying the cooler fall weather. The breeze is coming in through the open glass door. I can hear Sophie playing with her dolly in her room. Caroline is sleeping in her bassinet. My boys are off with their friends, enjoying a Chick-fil-A play date. I had an entire conversation with a friend on the phone this morning.

This doesn't seem right. It is my first day 'on my own' with four kids. My mom is back in Florida, and Scott is at work. And it has been a great morning.

Thank you, Lord! I was a bit worried about how today would go. Of course, I will not take away the fact that I've had help with the boys. And a friend is bringing dinner tonight. And my bed is not made yet (I'm hoping for a short nap while the older kids nap this afternoon). But I am blessed. And today has been a great day so far.

Settling in

We have been home for four days now. I guess I should say four nights, because life with a newborn revolves around how the nights are going. And our nights are going very well. We are so blessed by this baby.

Carter, Josh and Sophie are loving Caroline. One of the greatest blessings of having a larger family is watching your children interact with each other. Caroline's older siblings are constantly hugging, kissing, and asking to see her.

Mama is recovering well. I am continually thanking God for a safe delivery of this beautiful, 9lb 6oz baby. We have been blessed by lots of help from our families and lots of meals from our church family.

Once again, God has visited us with one of his greatest blessings, and we are abundantly thankful.

Caroline has arrived...

Still waiting

Well, I am almost 41 weeks pregnant, much to my own surprise. I know babies come in the Lord's time, but I had not given even the slightest thought that our little girl would arrive after her due date. Now here we are almost one week after the day we looked forward to for so long.

When the 31st came and went, I gave into depression and pitying myself. I was of no use or service to my family on Friday night and Saturday morning, much to my shame. The Lord rescued me out of that sin through prayer, scripture, and a simple word from my old friend Elisabeth Elliot, "Do the next thing." (here, as well).

I was stuck on hold, waiting for an event I have no control over. I had stopped cooking dinner every night (what dollar menu can we raid tonight??), and was just getting by every day with other chores. The neat thing is that after I spent time in prayer on Saturday morning (thanks to my husband who took the boys off for donuts so I could spend some time time with the Lord in quiet), Scott came home and gave me some encouragement in the same way. He admonished me to keep going, staying occupied and busy.

Sitting on the couch staring out the glass doors was not displaying trust and hope in God, and was instead passing on my restless mood onto my family. By the time I had given my despair to the Lord, repenting of my lack of belief and trust in God's plan for this baby, I was ready to do the next thing, which for me was grocery shopping, meal planning for this week, and then relaxing in the kitchen while I baked some treats for my family.

Then, on Sunday at church, our pastor continued his way through Colossians, preaching from chapter 1. He reminded us that Christ holds all things together. All things. Every atom and molecule in the universe and beyond is held together by our incomparable Christ. What a life-changing truth! Nothing is out of Christ's hands. Including babies, including how this baby will arrive (I want to avoid an induction but as the days pass, pitocin is getting closer and closer), and of course when she will arrive.

I'm hoping and praying that my next post will be a birth announcement. But if not, I'm praying for more of God, more satisfaction in Christ, and a deeper understanding of His loving control of my life and of all things.

WFMW, restaurant savings

I got this tip off Frugal Friday at Biblical Womanhood, and it worked for me so quickly I had to pass it on...

Sign up for free email updates at your favorite restaurant and you can receive free or discounted meals. I just did this at a few restaurants, and I already recieved an email for half off one entree at Johnny Carino's, and a free meal at Red Robin (our five-year-old's favorite place to eat).

Some places have birthday or anniversary clubs, and it only takes a minute to sign up. I googled the names of our favorite restaurants, and then found the newsletter links on their websites.

One more thing, I used our juno email account, because I don't want misc. emails in our regular email that comes in through Outlook.

A no-hassle way to get free food: Works for me!

For more wfmw, click here.

Family Wrestle Mania

The children and I were enjoying some quiet couch time this evening while Scott went for a walk. It was peaceful, and I enjoyed sitting with all three kids- even Josh, our little wiggler, was quietly sitting in my lap. We talked about their day, how much they enjoyed 'playing tennis' with Daddy earlier at the park, among other things.

After Scott got home, I took Sophie back to get her ready for bed and within 30 seconds heard what I would refer to as chaos coming from the living room. It took no time at all for the peace and quiet to disappear to be replaced with screaming, wrestling, and the sounds of general bedlam.

This is a normal occurrence with Scott and the boys. All three of them seem unable to resist such scenes when they are all together and I am not in the room. If it happens to start when I am still around, I make my exit as quickly as possible, due to the fact that my mothering insticnt does not take such scenes well.

It is almost like a magnetic force- as soon as they see each other, a sly smile will spread across one of their faces, soon to be followed by some sort of aggravating behavior- flicking, elbowing, or smacking and running. All this action is done to the background of a lot of screaming and very loud laughter.

It is true that these sessions often end with someone crying. Such is the cost of Family Wrestle Mania, and the cost is apparently not high enough to deter a new round at the next available opportunity.

Such is life with boys and their dad. I love it. And I also love that Sophie and I get to go back to her room to rock in the rocking chair and quietly sing good night songs.

My favorite iced tea

This is my first time participating in Favorite Ingredient Friday. Today is the healthy eating edition.

One of my favorite drinks is tea. Of course, since I live in the South, it goes without saying that when we say 'tea' we mean sweet and iced.

Now I know that heaping cup of sugar added to every pitcher may disqualify my tea from the "Healthy Eating" category, but the sugar does not cancel out all those antioxidants found in tea, right?? And you can always drink your tea unsweetened (although I have no idea who would ever want to do that).

When I was pregnant with my oldest son, I became enamored with iced tea with mint. I discovered this perfect drink at our favorite deli, where the standard iced tea came with mint. Needless to say, the deli became my favorite place to visit even if I wasn't hungry. Then I found out how easy it is make.

Next time you make a pitcher of regular iced tea, add one mint tea leaf bag to the other tea bags. Let the tea steep just like normal, and you will be blessed with one of the most refreshing, delightful drinks you have ever enjoyed. It's slap your mama good, I promise.

To read some of the health benefits of tea, click here.

For the health benefits of mint, click here.

Drama queen

My daughter Sophie is clearly a drama queen. I could write pages and pages about her ups and downs, highs and lows- there is rarely a middle ground in her range of moods.


Today was a prime day for Sophie's dramatic expression. She was dressed in her 'princess dress'- a hand-me-down dance outift from a friend, complete with sequins and tulle skirt. She had on her candy jewel ring, which she kept handy in case she needed a sugar refill.


This morning, Sophie did not feel it adequate to talk in normal tones of voice. Instead, whatever she said, she did so in loud, sad, song-like voice. I'm sure all mothers can easily hear the voice I'm talking about.


Anyway, her sentences went something like this, "THE BOYS WON'T LET ME SIT ON THEM!!"; "I WANT MORE ORANGE JUICE!!!"; "CAN I GET DOWN??!!,"; "WHERE IS MY PLAY PHONE????!!!"; "YOU TOLD ME NO!!!"; "WILL YOU HOLD ME MOMMY????!!!"


Finally, I told her, "Sophie, stop the drama."



To which she replied, "MOMMY, YOU TOOK MY DRAMA!!!"


If only it were that simple.

Works for me Wednesday, making the bed

As soon as I pulled up the 'new post' box, my mind went completely blank. No helpful thoughts to be found. Could be a side effect of all the cable I've been watching.

It took me a few minutes of staring outside, but then it came back to me. Here is the life-changing tip that re-entered my mind:

When I am making a bed, especially our queen-size bed, I make up one entire side, including pillow shams and throw pillows, before I move to the other side. That way I am not going back and forth several times, and making the bed takes me less than a minute.

I heard Elisabeth Elliot give this idea several years ago, as help for homemakers, and I tried it immediately and have not gone back. It took a little practice, but makes making any bed much easier and faster.

I am much more likely to make a bed if I know it won't take me several minutes. Even if a bedroom is not picked up in other areas, a made bed makes the whole room look done. Works for me!

For more WFMW tips, click here.

Another reason I love cable

I've been in a cooking slump for a few months. I usually love to cook and can't wait to get in the kitchen each afternoon to start dinner. This affection for cooking naturally spreads into grocery shopping, because a big part of cooking is having the right ingredients.


Anway, since we got cable back yesterday, I of course have been tuning into the Food Network (that is, of course, when not watching tv with my husband), and I think lack of cable may have been to blame in my whole cooking aversion.


I was blaming this phenomenon on being nauseous, then tired, due to being pregnant. But now I think I've found out the truth: I was lacking inspiration.


Now I am dreaming of making bread pudding with Rum sauce (thanks, Paula Deen), gnocci with gorgonzola sauce (thanks, Sandra Lee) and let's not forget farfalle pasta with mushroom-walnut sauce (thanks, Giada De Laurentiis).


So maybe my family will be eating something other than frozen California Pizza Kitchen pizzas, chicken and yellow rice, and meatloaf. Nothing wrong with any of those, but only cooking those dishes has been sucking the energy out of me. (This has to be the source of my lack of energy- it couldn't be the third trimester of pregnancy or caring for my other three little people, right?)


Thanks again, sweetheart, for the cable. The whole family thanks you. I might even watch a little Steven Segal again with you tonight, while we eat our bread pudding.

And no, I have not yet exhausted my store of writing about cable.

Pregnancy update

I realized that I announced our pregnancy, took several months off from posting, and then started up again without mentioning how things are going in the whole new baby situation.



We still have until the end of August before our little girl will be here. We have named her but will probably wait until she is born to make an official announcement.



I am feeling much better. I was sick for about 18 weeks, then I hit a good spot and felt better in the nausea department as well as not too uncomfortable.



I am not sick very often right now, but I'm having a good bit of back pain which I think is my sciatic nerve. I have mildly strong contractions throughout the day.



The baby is growing well. I am very excited about her arrival. I guess I had thought that by the time #4 arrived, I would be used to having babies and would just be ready for life to continue. But I am as excited as I have ever been to meet our new little one. Scott mentioned the other day that he feels the same way, and is actually looking forward to my going into labor.



My older three are so sweet about our new baby. They all feel my tummy and Sophie loves to give the baby kisses through my shirt. Josh seldom prays without mentioning "Mommy and the new baby", and Carter has already told me that if we need him to, he'll let the baby sleep in his room and get up with her and give her a bottle.



The next several weeks will be spent resting, getting the room finished (we are hoping to do that this weekend, actually), and enjoying the rest of summer. Even though I am pregnant, I am thoroughly enjoying the warm weather. I really am a tried and true Florida girl, but I had to move to North Carolina to discover that!

A night of torture, I mean togetherness, I mean cable tv

We recently signed up for cable tv. We have considered this decision for a few months, beginning with the four months I spent in bed from exactly the time Scott got home from work until the next morning, otherwise known as The First Trimester of each of my pregnancies.

The in between time since then has been well spent reading in the evenings, talking, and watching network tv a couple of nights a week. Now that summer is here and the networks are full of horrible judging programs showcasing the best of the best in the worlds of dancing, singing, comedy, and making stuff no one wants or needs, our options have been limited.

Also factoring into our decision is the fact that I am becoming less and less productive and energetic, if that were at all possible (those of you who know me know exactly what I'm talking about). My couch time is on the increase, and is showing signs of a continual upward climb.

In other words, it's time to provide the pregnant lady with some wholesome quality entertainment, which includes watching men with mustaches cussing each other out while they make motorcycles, all eight (or 15) years of Law and Order, or the life cycles of pond-dwelling animals such as frogs and salamanders (had to spell check that one- see what too much tv does to your brain?).

So, in light of all this cable goodness, why would my husband subject me to watching Steven Segal do karate on bad-guy cowboys, on this our inaugural evening of the loveliness which is cable tv?

We could be discovering what kind of weather the fine folks in Lincoln, Nebraska will be enjoying tomorrow, or ordering new pots and pans designed by a celebrity chef, or finding out the answers to the important questions in life, like how are Jolly Ranchers made.

But instead it looks like I'll be enjoying watching an aging, pony-tailed man in a tight all-black outfit karate chopping in slow motion while dodging rattlesnakes. And let me tell you, it is riveting. Of course, it could be COPS reruns. And I could be by myself instead of relaxing with the man who is the love of my life and whose decision it was to get me cable in the first place.

I guess I'll suck it up and enjoy the show, or at least pretend to.

The Fourth, in a few words

BBQ Eating

Cake Baking

Steak Grilling

Salad Making

Sweet Tea Drinking

Dogs Panting

Kids Laughing

Water Splashing

Shade Sitting

Football Throwing

Sun Burning

Off Spraying

Family Hugging

Nap Taking

Flag Flying

Declaration Reading

History Remembering

Thanks Giving

Deep Sleeping

A great Fourth

Slip and Slide fun. Carter called his moves, "Slip and surf". Josh's momentum would leave him about 10 feet shy of the end of the slide. The big boys were able to annialiate the entire slide, ending up in the grass.

We spent the Fourth at my brother and sister-in-law's house. It was a day full of eating, playing, splashing, slip-and-sliding, and just relaxing. So much fun! We went to see fireworks the night before, so we just stayed at Tommy and Melannie's last night until after dark and lit sparklers and a few 'fireworks' Scott had bought for the kids.

No reason the dads couldn't cool off in the pool. 'Cool off' would be an understatement, though. The water was freezing!

Melannie, Bobby, and I spent most of the time watching all the action, which was immensely enjoyable. I highly recommend this method of celebrating.


The adults all had a big laugh as we discovered that every firework in the pack was exactly the same. The packaging was varied, but as soon as they were lit, the fireworks each revealed the same brightly dancing white-ish stars. So much for judging a firework by its cover...
Josh loves bugs, so the day did not disappoint him as we found this enormous, shiny beetle climbing up a tree. He quickly declared it 'a dinasour beetle.'

I'll be posting photos as soon as our camera makes its way back from Scott's office. We had three sleeping kiddos when we pulled into home late last night, so all of our belongings didn't make it into the house until this morning, and some apparently not even then. I was thankful to have made it home safely after such a long, full day.

Note: There is a little redhead missing from the photos, I sadly realized after I finished downloading them this afternoon. Sophie was napping through a good bit of the afternoon, although she did get in the pool with Daddy and Uncle Tommy after she woke up.

Baseball fun

Our little man had his first baseball game tonight. On the way home, Scott said, "Can you believe we are already going to t-ball games?" It is hard to believe that this little boy, who we were just bringing home from the hospital and worrying about when he was going to sleep through the night, is already reading, playing on a ball team, and learning to tell time.


Here are some photo highlights of our evening (click on the picture to enlarge):



Carter played shortstop. Try to ignore the fence!

Carter's team, the Wildcats, is a coach pitch team. The players get three pitches from their coach and then they can use the tee. Carter used the tee once and hit off the coach his other two times up to bat. (These details are for Carter's Papa and Uncle Richard. Everyone else, if they are like me, are mainly interested in the photos. I am learning a lot about baseball, but still have a long way to go. You'll pick up on that whenever I try and describe any aspect of the game...)

Little brother Josh has his own fun playing on the bleachers. During practices, he has made up the game of See How Many Catepillars I Can Catch and Put in a Hole. Tonight there were a lot more people in attendance, so he pretty much just stayed close to Mom and Dad. I had been concerned about Josh's reaction to Carter's playing ball while he sat out, but he is content right now to let Carter be a baseball player and he will be a 'baseball fan'.
Last, but not least, Sophie hung out with Daddy during the whole game. Daddy is much more fun than Mommy, who asks Sophie to sit in her stroller or on the bleachers. Daddy is more involved at the games, so he is walking around, encouraging Carter while he is in the dugout, and talking to other dads.

Sophie asks most days if we are going to 'baseball practice', and as soon as we get to the ball park begins asking for crackers, pretzels, bananas, 'bink' (drink), and 'nak' (snack). We have survived each practice by keeping a steady stream of refreshments coming her way. She is content to sit in the stroller as long as the food keeps coming. After we run out, she likes to follow Josh around, sqealing at the catepillars and yelling, "I saw a lalapillar!!!!" Tonight, due to the large crowd, she mostly hung on Scott's legs or asked to be held.